Platetechtonics help Tiger Brands kick Limelightsa to the curb.

The 10th December 2010 saw clouds loom upon our undefeated¹ greatness. They came, we met and they proceeded to wipe the floor with our… yeah, you get it. Led by bowling stalwart Leon Heunis, Tiger Brands showed the Limelightsa gang who the alley cats at the bowling alley were!



Despite the fact that Platetechtonics played an unsympathetic role in our highly-skilled techniques going awry², the agency has decided to review its bowling process in its entirety. It’s actually not funny when the hosts lose, so we have taken our big book of bowling rules out of the shed, dusted it off and revised our approach for the next match.

• Speed is everything: If Limelightsa is down in the 8th or 9th frame, we shall be allowed to invoke the "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game" rule – as to ensure we still have a chance.

• Repeat success: Should a member of the opposing team bowl 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.

• The opposition’s ball shall be declared dead when they bowl 3 turns without a strike. The particular bowler is awarded the privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball at their own expense; it may be anchored at sea, flushed from a small aeroplane over a live volcano or laid to rest with the city garbage. For a competitive fee, the agency Director / Creative Director / Copywriter / Designer / Account Manager or league officer may be convinced to deliver a short eulogy.

Because we still believe that sport should be celebrated in the spirit of fairness, we cede the following addendum to the new rules.

• If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane and proceeds to knock pins down, well then by Jove you get the points! We recognise that this is way harder than knocking them down the conventional way and that good bowling should be recognised.

Clients and contemporaries are welcome to challenge the only once defeated³ Limelightsa bowling brethren. Please call or liaise with your contact to make your booking.



¹ By “undefeated” we mean a planned undefeated-ness. We had never actually played against another team at the time this match took place.
² All geographical evidence has been backed by the renowned Scientific institute of Leeu Gamka. For a full report, please call Arthur or Martha on (0178) 555-5555. 
³ We reserve the right to destroy this record and start with a clean slate at any time.